Communist Jokes
March 8, 2009 – 11:28 amAnd now for something lighter for Sunday. Here are some old chestnuts I gathered during the Cold War. These are examples of jokes that Russians and Chinese told on themselves and their leaders back then. Will Americans be telling similar jokes about Obama, Reid and Pelosi in a few months?
The first human beings in the world were Adam and Eve. They actually lived in Russia. They had no roof over their heads, no clothes to wear, and only one apple and two fig leaves between them. And they called it Paradise!
Q. What is the shortest story?
A. Socialism.
Q. What’s the longest story?
A. The path toward socialism.
Q. What’s the difference between capitalism and Communism?
A. Capitalism is man versus man. Communism is the other way around.
General Jarulzelsky received an enormous ape as a gift. One day, as the general was taking a bath, the ape grabbed the general’s uniform. The people are now under new leadership, but cannot tell the difference.
Q. How are you?
A. Better than next year.
Brezhnev invited his mother to Moscow. In his black limousine, he took her to see the Kremlin, his dacha in the country and his private art collection.
After seeing these luxuries, Brezhnev’s mother said, “Leonid, be careful. What if the Reds come back into power?!?”
Q. What would happen if Yugoslavia set up socialism in the Sahara?
A. The Sahara would start importing sand.
Two brothers were talking on the street. “The world was created by God,” said one. “Not at all,” said the other. “The world created itself.”
A passing policeman added, “With the fraternal help of the Soviet Union.”
Q. Mao, Deng Xiaoping, and Hu Yaobang are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved?
A. China.
2 Responses to “Communist Jokes”
Soon you might be able to add some jokes about our Obamanation
By Nik on Mar 9, 2009
Every one of these jokes translates nicely into Brown Bliar and Lord Rumba of Rio…..
By Mike Stallard on Jun 28, 2009